


Must Be Taungsday

by telekinetic_hedgehog



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Action/Adventure, BAMF Finn, Big Damn Heroes, Competent Finn, Crack, Disguise, Fun with Tropes, Genre Savvy, Heavily Lampshaded Crack, Interrogation, Kink Discovery, Lampshade Hanging, M/M, Mild Hurt/Comfort, Monsters, Mystery, Non-Consensual Drug Use, Poe Dameron Is A Mess, Poe Dameron in bondage, Poe is Finn's damsel in distresss, Rescue Missions, Space Pirates, The Pilots Ship It, Torture, dude in distress, held for ransom, minor Poe whump, serious to crack
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-08
Updated: 2016-09-05
Packaged: 2018-07-22 06:30:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 12,853
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7423732
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/telekinetic_hedgehog/pseuds/telekinetic_hedgehog
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Five times Poe was rescued and one time he rescued everyone else. </p><p>This story starts off as action/adventure, and becomes more crack-like as Poe finds himself in increasingly bizarre and awkward situations-- much to his embarrassment and the amusement of his friends.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I needed a break from the serious and angsty stuff, and I've been sitting on this tfa kinkmeme prompt for a while: http://tfa-kink.dreamwidth.org/2821.html?thread=4661253#cmt4661253
> 
> "Poe Dameron, most kidnapped man in the galaxy  
> All the times Poe's been kidnapped, captured or taken hostage by the First Order, slavers, and various other enemies of the Resistance.  
> Crack or angst or anything in between are welcomed :D
> 
> If you want to do a 5+1 with it - 5 times Poe was rescued and 1 time he rescued everyone."

_ New Resistance Base. 0800 hours.  _

Finn just barely hears the beep of his commlink over the noise in the crowded mess hall. He fishes it out of his pocket and looks at it in confusion. Why is General Organa calling him during breakfast?

“Hang on, guys, I’ve gotta answer this.” 

Jess and Snap drop their banter to a whisper, and it’s surprising how much of a difference that makes in the overall noise level. 

“Hello, sir?” 

“Finn, I need to meet with you as soon as possible,” she says, her voice serious but not panicked. “How soon can you make it down here?”

“I’ll be there in ten minutes.”

“Good. Join us in the conference room.”

“Yes, sir.” His comm switches off, and he slides it back into his pocket and scoops up his dirty dishes. 

“Top secret meeting? Sounds fun.” Jess stacks her plate on top of his pile, grinning as he shoots her a look of pretend annoyance. 

“You know how it goes. I’m kind of a big deal around here.” When he had told them the story of how he’d tried to lie to Han, he’d seriously underestimated the pilots’ habit of  _ never letting anyone live anything down _ . Merciless teasing was a way of life. But he also underestimated how much he would enjoy sharing inside jokes with them, so he has no regrets there. “See you guys later!” 

General Organa is waiting for him in the conference room, seated at a table with Major Emett, Major Brance, Admiral Akbar, and a few other officers Finn doesn’t know the names of. They look concerned. 

“Finn, come in and take a seat,” she says, and he does. The idea crosses his mind that maybe he’s gotten in trouble somehow. Maybe they don’t want an ex-Stormtrooper on their base, and they’re sending him away.  _ Kriff _ . His heart begins to race with fear at the thought. 

The General taps the projector droid sitting on the tabletop, and it shines a holo of a cluster of star systems near the edge of the Colonies region, each with several planets. At its center is one labelled  _ Castell _ . 

“Yesterday, Commander Poe Dameron was on a diplomatic mission to the Castell system and lost contact with us shortly after touching down on the system’s main planet. Although the inhabitants had been friendly with us and representatives from their Council of State had offered their hospitality to discuss a substantial contribution to our cause, we now know that the offer was an ambush. At 0500 hours today, we intercepted a message from the planet’s Council, asking the First Order for an alliance and protection in exchange for handing over our officer.” 

The General taps the droid again, and the holo changes to three pictures. The first is so grainy that Finn can hardly tell it’s Poe. In the second, Poe is smirking up at the camera, making an obscene gesture in spite of the thick binders on his wrists. The third picture shows him glaring at someone and sporting a new, bloody split on his lip. So, definitely Poe, then. 

“The bad news is that Commander Dameron is, for all practical purposes, a prisoner of war. The good news is that he’s still alive, and we have a window of time to get him off Castell before the First Order takes him. Finn, this is where you come in. We need someone to take a shuttle down to the planet, impersonate a First Order Lieutenant, make a fake deal with the Castellians, and get out of there before the real First Order shows up. Think you can handle that?” 

“Sir, it would be my honor and pleasure.” 

Within an hour, the officers have worked with Finn to choose a team, and that team has pieced together their disguises and finished pre-launch on the stolen shuttle. In the meantime, the Resistance intelligence analysts have sent a fake treaty to the Castellian Council and set up the meeting.  

The takeoff and jump to lightspeed go smoothly; of course they do, Jess and Kare are the pilots. Finn also has four soldiers from the Resistance army to round out his squad. During the two hours it takes to travel, Finn teaches the six of them how to stand in Stormtrooper armor, how to hold their blasters, and several commands he might need them to follow. Wearing the lieutenant’s uniform and practicing giving orders to his troops helps him get in character, he notices. And anything to help him play the part is helpful right now. He’s even thankful for the stupid-looking hat. 

The shuttle touches down at a private spaceport near the Council, and the Castellian representatives are already standing on the tarmac when Finn leads his squad down the ramp. It’s evening in that timezone, and the shadows are long under the red sky. Good, they’ll look even more imposing. 

Finn tries to focus on the representatives, shaking their hands and introducing himself by his fake name. Tries to focus on carrying himself stiffly and enunciating every syllable as he spits out bantha shit about the First Order’s ability to protect the Castell system and bring stability to the galaxy. 

Tries not to focus on his friend who’s blindfolded, kneeling on the duracrete with his arms cuffed behind him and a guard pointing a blaster at his heart. 

_ Hang in there, Poe. We’re going to get you home. _

Fortunately the Castellians agree to the treaty as written, so there are no lengthy negotiations, but it still feels like hours go by before they actually sign the thing. Finally he hands their copy back to them and passes the other copy to a trooper, who takes it onto the shuttle. He’s trying to decide whether there’s a polite way to ask them for Poe when one of the representatives gestures to the guard to bring him forward. 

“Now then, just as we promised: the leader of the Resistance pilots, for the First Order to do with him whatever is useful,” says the Castellian, and the guard practically throws Poe at Finn’s feet. 

“The First Order appreciates the generosity of this excellent planet,” Finn says, and hopes that none of the disgust he feels towards these double-crossing cowards is coming through. He pulls off the blindfold that’s covering most of Poe’s face and takes out a holoprojector from his coat pocket, pretending to compare the man kneeling in front of him with an image that looks like it could have come from a First Order reconnaissance file. 

Poe, for his part, does a stellar job hiding his relief at seeing Finn’s face. Oh, he grins up at him all right, but he plays along and quickly turns it into his usual bravado: “Wow, lieutenant, let me congratulate you on the brilliant deal you just made. Did they tell you they invited me here as an ambassador? Yeah, a planet that kidnaps ambassadors is totally trustworthy. Great folks to make wartime treaties with, not planning to stab you in the back at all.” 

Finn turns off the projector and returns it to his coat, silently wishing Poe to stop, because the Castellians can hear him, and a real First Order officer would never just stand there while an enemy insults his new allies. He’s going to give away the game and get them all killed if he dishonors his hosts. But Poe continues rambling. 

“I guess you wouldn’t know, since you aren’t big on stuff like honor and trustworthiness either. Or maybe you’re just stupid. I’d feel stupid if I had a hat with fake earflaps. Or maybe it’s that the bantha-fuckers pretending to govern this planet--” 

Finn brings his hand down and slaps Poe across the face, using his martial arts training to make a loud sound without causing much pain, and being careful to avoid the cut on his lip. Poe’s look of surprise is probably genuine.  _ Kriff. _ He owes Poe a huge apology for this. 

Finn turns to two of his troopers. “Take him on board and gag him.” They drag him onto his feet and up the ramp. 

If the end of the negotiation seems rushed, the Castellians don’t appear terribly offended, and soon the shuttle ramp is closing behind him. 

Weaving through the tangle of people taking off their armor, Finn hurries to the cockpit to apologize to Poe, expecting him to be pestering one of the pilots to let him fly the shuttle. And Poe’s in there, but he’s sitting cross-legged on the floor, still cuffed. The fabric that had been a blindfold earlier is now tied around the other half of his face, and he’s grumbling incomprehensibly through it and staring daggers into Kare and Jess. 

“You  _ guys… _ ” Finn facepalms and groans, plopping down behind Poe and feeling for the release on the cuffs. 

“Just obeying your command, Lieutenant,” Jess says way too innocently, not even looking at them as she flips switches on the shuttle’s controls. 

Poe rips the gag off the instant his hands are free. “Fuck you two. I’m assigning both of you to double cleaning duty. And you’d better watch your backs, because the prank ban is over.” 

“Don’t blame us. Lieutenant’s orders.” Kare retorts, shooting a mischievous grin at Poe and Finn. 

“What, this is the thanks we get for rescuing you?” Jess pretends to be offended. 

“That’s what you get for unlawfully detaining your commanding officer, Pava.” Poe’s trying to sound gruff, but he’s smiling. The pilots have the weirdest sense of humor, Finn decides. To make his point, Poe turns to Finn. “Thank you for rescuing me and  _ actually taking the kriffing cuffs off _ , unlike some losers, Finn.” 

“Oh, but you’ll thank Finn? Finn slapped you in the face!” Jess protests. 

“Yeah, about that, Poe. I’m so sorry. I would never mean to--” 

“Sorry? You were brilliant back there.” Poe puts his hand on Finn’s shoulder. “No harm done. You did what you had to. And seriously, thank all of you for rescuing me.” 

“Hey, it’s not like I haven’t done it before. This time was a lot easier.” Finn smiles. 

Poe smiles back. “Yeah, well, let’s not make it a habit.”


	2. Chapter 2

_New Resistance Base. 2100 hours_.

One week later, Finn’s on his way to the conference room with Karé, Jess, and Iolo. They’ve all gotten the same message: Poe’s in trouble. Again.

Snap is at the head of the table, leaning over it eagerly, and the four of them take seats around him.

“All right, team. The General’s delegated this mission to me, and I’ve picked you because we’re both Poe’s friends and capable fighters. We need him back alive, and the people in this room are the best chance he’s got.”

The four of them nod, and Karé mutters _damn right_.

“Half an hour ago, we got a vid from a Baleen-class freighter in the same sector where Poe was trying to take a shortcut before he went missing.”

Snap touches the projector, and a holovid starts playing. A cluster of pirates from a variety of species is standing around a captive who’s tied to a chair and wearing a hood over their face. The pirates are all holding blaster rifles, except for one who’s holding that day’s edition of the _Coruscant Courier-Times_.

“Greetings, Resistance,” begins a tall Dathomirian in heavily accented Basic, “we found something you might want back.”

One of the pirates yanks off the hood, and Poe Dameron’s messy curls spill out. There’s a wide X of tape over Poe’s mouth and a cut on the bridge of his nose. He looks unimpressed.

“Ten million credits. That’s our price, no less.” Poe shoots him a look as if to say, _are you kidding?_ and rolls his eyes. “You send us the money within twenty-four hours, and we’ll let him go, along with his ship and his droid. Otherwise,”--the pirate behind Poe grabs a fistful of his hair, yanks his head back, and holds a knife to his exposed throat-- “ _you’ll never see him again._ ” The holo fizzles and cuts out.

“Seriously?” Jess leans back in her chair, arms folded. “What, do they have a villain cliché manual or something?”

Karé snorts. “Looks like it. I don’t think the Resistance even _has_ ten million credits.”

“All right, Captain.” Iolo looks over at Snap. “I’m guessing you have a plan for this rescue?”

Snap grins. “You better believe I do.”

 

The next morning, they’re flying through the same sector when the transport’s lights go out and the engine goes silent. Dim emergency lights flicker on, and the transport vibrates as the pirate freighter’s tractor beam pulls them into its cargo hold.

“Looks like our cue,” Finn says, slipping on a gas mask designed to filter out toxins, and clipping a second mask to one of his belt loops. Snap, Karé, and Jess do the same.

The four of them stand ready at the door to the transport. Karé double-checks that her rifle is set to stun, and Jess adjusts her mask’s straps around her ponytail.

With a creaking lurch, the transport stops inside the freighter’s cargo hold. Snap comms the cockpit: “Iolo, what can you see?”

“The scanners are picking up a cluster of lifeforms moving towards our transport. They’re going to try to board.”

“Good. What about the rest of the ship?”

A booming broadcast cuts off Iolo’s reply. “There is no escape for you. Surrender if you want to live!”

Jess laughs. “Shit, guys, we missed our chance at sending a melodramatic counter-ultimatum.”

“Snap, there are three more lifeforms at the end of the main hallway. The rest are within range.”

“ _Perfect_ .” Snap thumbs a detonator, and there’s a small _bang_ and a loud _whoosh_ as he blows the lids off several tanks welded to the outside of the transport, surrounding the transport with tranquilizing gas. He picks up a harness containing a similar tank and shrugs it onto his back. “Let’s move!”

The transport door opens, and the team charges into the green-brown cloud. The pirates are all on the ground unconscious, and Jess-- the only one of them whose blaster isn’t in stun mode--wastes no time taking them out. The four of them head to the main hallway of the freighter: Finn guarding Snap, Snap spraying the area with gas, Jess ready to give the finishing blow to any pirates, and Karé guarding them from behind.

At the end of the hallway are two doorways, and fortunately both doors are open, so Snap sprays liberally into both rooms while Karé takes one and Finn takes the other.

Finn turns the corner into the room, and for half a second his stomach jolts sickeningly, because Poe looks dead. He’s still tied to the chair, sagging against the ropes, his head drooping towards his chest. But he’s not dead; he’s breathing.  It’s just the gas, and they planned on that. With a sigh of relief, Finn rushes over to him and carefully peels off the tape covering his mouth. He unhooks the gas mask from his belt and fastens it to Poe’s face.

Finn comms the rest of his team. “I’ve found him. He’s safe.”

“Good work,” answers Snap. “We’ve got the pirate captain and co-pilot down, and we’re disabling the tractor beam now. Rendezvous at the transport.”

“Copy that.”

Finn takes out his knife and starts on the rope coils, cutting down the back of the chair to avoid injuring Poe. He’s about halfway done when Poe raises his head and says, in a weak and breathy voice, “You wanna tell me what’s going on?”

“It’s me. It’s Finn. We’re getting you out of here.”

Poe sighs. “Thank the Force.”

Once Finn’s cut him free, he stretches and rubs his arms where the ropes dug into them. Finn stands and tries to help him to his feet. “Can you walk?”

“Probably,” Poe says, but half a dizzy step proves him wrong. Finn catches him before he hits the ground and hoists him over his shoulder in a fireman’s carry. They’ve made it back to the hallway when Poe stops him.

“Finn, buddy, this isn’t working. I can’t get my mask to stay on at this angle.”

“No problem.” Finn bends down and lets Poe slide off, slips one arm under his shoulders and the other under his knees, and stands. “Better?”

“I mean…” Poe laughs, though Finn doesn’t see what’s funny, and relaxes into his chest. “Sure.”

Finn’s almost got them back to the ship when Poe yelps and starts flailing around.  

“Poe! What’s the matter?” Despite Finn’s attempt to set him down gently, they both wind up on their asses, but not before Jess, Snap, and Karé all get a good view of Finn emerging from the clouds, heroically striding across the cargo hold, carrying Poe in his arms bridal-style.

“Aw, Finn,” Poe groans, mortified. “Why would you let them see us like that?”

“Like what?”

Snap slow-claps in appreciation. Karé grins triumphantly. Jess is waltzing towards them, humming a tune Finn doesn’t recognize.

“What’s she…?”

“Dandoranian wedding march. _Ugggh_.” Poe throws his head back and huffs in frustration. “Breathing toxic gas would have been easier. We’re never gonna hear the end of this.”

Oh.

_Oh._

“All right, so what now?” Finn asks, and the gas mask covering half of Poe’s face doesn’t keep Finn from recognizing the Classic Poe Dameron Here-Goes-Nothing look.

Poe calls to the rest of the team as they cross the cargo hold towards him. “Hey guys, thanks for coming out here for me. Great rescue, really creative, I’m impressed. Say, you didn’t bring anything to eat, did you? Apparently pirates aren’t big on feeding their hostages, and I could eat a whole bantha. Are there any long-term side effects of this gas? ‘Cause I dunno how long I was out for. And how long is the flight home? Are we even in the same sector? They didn’t really--”

“Poe, dear,” Karé interrupts him, smiling slyly. “You can change the subject all you want, but you can’t make us unsee anything.”

“Dibs!” Jess shouts abruptly and nods towards Poe’s ship at the other end of the cargo hold. “On _Black One_ . Poe can’t fly. Don’t get me wrong, we’re _definitely_ revisiting this subject, but too drunk to walk is too drunk to fly, and I think the same goes for tranquilizer gas.”

“You can’t call dibs on _Black One_ ,” replies Karé. “The plan was for me to fly her back.”

Poe narrows his eyes at them. “You made plans for someone to fly my ship without my permission?”

“It was a backup plan on the off chance you were dead,” Finn explains.

Jess looks over at Karé. “Exactly. Does he look dead to you?”

Karé shrugs. “I think I saw him just die of embarrassment.” She turns to Snap. “Captain, it is still the plan for me to fly _Black One_ , yes?”

Poe looks up at him. “I can fly my own X-wing. And BB-8 can help me out while I’m still detoxing.”

“Snap, _please_?” pleads Jess.

Snap puts his hands up defensively. “Whoa, you three, don’t drag me into this.”

“You _are_ the captain in charge of this mission,” Kare points out.

“Okay, fine.” He speaks into his commlink: “Iolo, I’m assigning you to _Black One_ for the return trip.” Karé and Jess sigh and exchange a disappointed look.

“Yes, Captain,” answers Iolo.

“Jess and Karé, you’re flying the transport. Go ahead and prepare to launch while Finn and I help Poe the rest of the way.”

Karé and Jess take off towards the transport and pass Iolo on his way out. Finn and Snap help Poe to his feet and hold him between them, with Poe doing his best to walk by leaning on their shoulders. Finally the three of them make it back to the transport, and Poe sits down with two whole boxes of ration bars before realizing he can’t eat with the gas mask on and he’ll have to wait until the transport’s filtration system makes the air safe to breathe.

“I really could have flown back by myself.”

“You’re probably right,” agrees Snap. “But it’s our mission to see you safely back to the base, and I wasn’t about to let you take off into space alone after all that.”

Poe nods. “That was the right call.”

“Besides, mister ten million credits,” Snap adds, giving the two of them a wide smile, “who am I to separate you from Finn?”


	3. Chapter 3

_ New Resistance Base. The longest week ever.  _

The next week is the longest of Finn’s life. It takes a day at most before the story of Finn rescuing Poe for the third time spreads throughout the Resistance, and Poe hadn’t been exaggerating when he said they’d never hear the end of it. First it’s little things, like some of the mechanics and kitchen staff giving him thumbs up and knowing smiles when he walks past. But then a cartoon of Finn sweeping Poe off his feet gets passed around between datapads and shared with half the base. Finn gets the shovel talk from three different pilots. Someone even slides a catalog of wedding dresses under Poe’s door. (Poe thinks it was Karé, even if she denies it.) And Jess never really stops humming that blasted wedding song. 

Poe’s been great about it, neither playing it up nor avoiding Finn, just treating him as a friend like he has been for the past month, and making his annoyance with the whole thing clear. Still, it’s getting old fast. So Finn’s grateful for the mood on base becoming more serious and focused when it’s announced that the Resistance is going to launch an attack on a First Order stronghold in the Mid Rim. 

The plan is for Red Squadron, Blue Squadron, and a ground team to take over the outpost on the jungle moon and then advance against the planet from there. Finn’s all too eager to volunteer for the ground team, and Major Brance is eager to welcome him. 

Captain Wexley’s recon flight showed an outpost that was fairly well-defended aerially but didn’t have many troops guarding it, and that’s exactly what the Resistance finds when it shows up in force. Commander Dameron calls for Blue Squadron to attack the TIE fighters directly, drawing them away from the outpost and picking them off in the moon’s atmosphere, and for Red Squadron to defend the ground team’s transports from both the TIEs and the outpost’s laser cannons. The strategy works flawlessly, and the ground team makes it to the moon’s surface and sweeps through the outpost with no Resistance casualties. 

Major Brance turns to two lieutenants. “You two, take your platoons to check the laser cannons and see if they’re still functional. If our pilots bring those TIEs back within range, we can take a few down.” He adjusts the frequency on his comm. “Ground team to Black Leader; come in Black Leader.” 

There’s a long pause with nothing but static. The major tries again. “Commander Dameron, this is Brance, do you copy?” 

Nothing. 

A thousand horrible scenarios flash through Finn’s mind, mostly involving Poe’s fiery death. 

The comm crackles, and General Organa’s voice comes through. “Mission control to ground team. Black Leader is down. What is your message? Over.” 

Finn’s breathing too fast, and he has to sit down  _ now _ . Brance gives him a look of sympathy. 

“We’re checking the laser cannons now. Have Blue Squadron bring those TIEs within range, over.” 

“Copy, out.” 

Brance sits down next to Finn. “Down doesn’t mean dead, you know. There’s a chance he’s still out there.” Finn nods. 

A few minutes later, the comm startles him. “Mission control to Major Brance, come in.” 

“Copy.” 

“Is Finn there?” Surprised, Brance passes the comm to him. 

“Yes, sir. What is it?” answers Finn. 

“We just received a transmission from Commander Dameron’s astromech, saying that he’s alive and uninjured, but he’s stuck and needs help.”  _ Thank the Force.  _ “Captain Wexley suggested sending someone from the ground team, which only makes sense, and he recommended you for the mission. He spoke very highly of your competence.” 

Not that Finn doubts his own skills, but he’s pretty sure he knows exactly why Snap wants him to be the one to go into the jungle after Poe, and competence isn’t it. 

“Thank you, General. I’ll do my best.” 

“I have no doubt. Major, I’m passing on the coordinates from the droid for you to give to Finn. Finn, take care, and may the Force be with you.” 

Brance gives Finn the coordinates and a pack containing water and ration bars from the transport, and Finn takes off into the jungle. 

As it turns out, the jungle is a dense mess of trees, vines, and bushes, and no one told him about the ten-legged spiders. He’s been walking over uneven ground and sweating in the humidity for just over an hour when he hears BB-8’s frantic beeping. The little orange and white droid crashes through the undergrowth and almost bumps into him. 

Finn still can’t understand BB-8, but he thinks they’re saying something like “follow me.” BB-8 leads him a short distance until they suddenly burst into a clearing.  _ Black One _ is there, sitting at an angle, but in one piece. Something bright orange catches his eye up in the trees. 

“Hey! Finn!” calls Poe, who’s caught in a net high off the ground and smiling sheepishly down at him. 

“Seriously, Poe? You’re stuck in a net?” Finn calls back up at him. 

“We’ve got to stop meeting like this. I’d say people will talk, but they haven’t been doing much else, have they?” 

“Yeah, what happened to not making this a habit?” 

Poe laughs and shrugs. “So… a little help?” 

Finn nods. “Right.” He sets his pack down and looks carefully at the contraption Poe’s stuck in. It looks like it’s made out of just rope, and the net is held up by one thick rope connected to a tree branch far off the ground. The tree is too thick and doesn’t have low enough branches for Finn to try to climb it. “You couldn’t just cut it?” 

“I mean, I could, but I don’t see a safe place to land.” He’s got a point. The net is way too high for him to drop safely. 

“Do you have any rope or chain or anything in  _ Black One _ ’s storage area? We could hang it over the branch, attach one end to the net and the other end to your ship, and lower you down that way.” 

“Finn, you’re a genius! BB-8, show him where the winch is.” 

BB-8 scoots under the fuselage and beeps up at it.  Crawling behind them, Finn sees a hook attached to a cable wrapped around a spool. BB-8 lets the ship pull them up to their spot and whistles, and with a mechanical whir the spool slowly unwinds. Finn grabs the hook and crawls out from under the X-wing. 

“Okay, Poe,” he shouts once the cable is fully unwound. “I’m going to throw this hook over the branch. See if you can reach it, all right?” 

“Got it!” 

Finn winds up and aims. On the first try, he doesn’t throw it quite high enough to clear the branch. Then he throws it high enough but almost straight into the air. 

“You’ve got this, Finn. Don’t rush it; take your time.” 

Finn takes a deep breath and looks at the tree branch. Poe keeps talking. 

“I mean, if this were a movie, this would be the part when the natives show up and carry us off on poles to eat us, or make us fight to the death for their entertainment or something, but I really don’t think we’re in a hurry. Actually, I’m probably tempting fate bringing that up. Shit. Never mind.” 

Finn tilts his head. “Isn’t that kind of… speciesist? Just because they use different technology doesn’t mean indigenous cultures have less-developed ethical systems.”

“Huh. That’s a good point. I hadn’t thought of that.”

“Not that your movies are bad! It’s just that stereotypes have power, you know?”

“No, you’re right! But stranger things have happened in this galaxy.” 

“Well, in that case, let’s get you down.” 

It takes a few more tries, but eventually Finn tosses the winch-hook over the branch, close enough for Poe to reach through the net and grab it. He hooks the cable to the top of the net, and BB-8 cheers in Binary and winds the cable until it’s taut. Finn pulls out his blaster and shoots the original rope. 

“Nice shot! Okay, BB-8, lower me down!” 

The thought crosses Finn’s mind that maybe he kinda likes the way Poe looks, helpless like that, the way the ropes stretch around his body. He pushes that idea out of his mind. Clearly a week’s worth of the entire base teasing him is getting to his head. 

Poe makes it safely to the ground, and Finn helps him untangle himself from the net. 

“Thanks, buddy. Now let’s see about  _ Black One _ .” Poe walks around the starboard S-foils to the rear of the engines. 

“Can she be fixed?” 

“Oh, yeah!” Poe’s voice echoes as he leans into the tail end of the lower fusial engine. “I’m not even sure she’s broken. Some debris from one of the TIEs got stuck in here, and I had to make a quick landing, but we didn’t crash. Before I stepped in the net, I expected to have her back up in the air for the rest of the battle.” 

The comm in the cockpit fizzes to life. “Mission control to Black Leader, come in.” 

Finn climbs inside the X-wing and answers it. “Mission control, this is Finn. Commander Dameron is safe, and he’s fixing his ship. Over.” 

“Finn, you two need to get out of there. Two star destroyers came out of hyperspace to defend the planet, and we’re retreating from the moon-- in fact, the evacuation is almost complete. Do we need to send a transport to your coordinates, or can you make it back to base in  _ Black One _ ? Over.” 

“Let me ask Poe. Wait, over.” 

Finn hops out and relays the message to Poe, who pulls his head out of the engine long enough to complain about having to retreat after his flawless battle strategy and confirm that, yes,  _ Black One _ is spaceworthy. Finn climbs back inside and passes on the message. 

“Here.” Poe is standing near the top of the ladder, holding out a spare helmet. “Put this on, and slide the seat as far back as it’ll go.” 

And that’s when Finn remembers that the T-70 X-wing fighter is a one-passenger craft. 

_ Nope, nothing awkward about this at all _ , Finn grumbles silently to himself as Poe climbs into his lap and prepares to take off.  _ Just two sweaty men that everyone thinks are together, him sitting on my lap, stuck inside each other’s personal space. _

“Sorry about the tight fit,” Poe apologizes. “BB-8, are we ready?” 

The flight back to base really isn’t that bad, despite Finn’s self-consciousness. By the time they get back, the rest of the X-wings and transports are already stored in the hangar. Finn hopes they can make it out of the ship and back to their dorms before anyone sees them, but Karé and Jess are running towards them almost before they finish landing. 

“Dameron, you moof-milker!” Jess shouts the moment Poe climbs out.

“Wow, Blue Three, you’re looking a little blue today,” he taunts, and as Finn climbs out, he sees that Jess is covered in blue splotches and streaks. 

“What the fuck did you put in my shampoo? And my face wash? And my shower head, for fuck’s sake?” 

“Who, me?” Poe tries to look innocent, but he’s clearly proud of himself.

“Oh, and I suppose it also wasn’t you who put fake spiders in my bed?” Karé glares at him.

“I would never.” 

“Well, we came out here to warn you to watch your back,” Jess puts her hands on her hips. “And also to make sure you two were okay, but mostly to threaten you.” 

“Yeah, we saw you go down but heard you were uninjured. What took you so long?” asks Karé. 

“Um…” Poe hesitates. “I got… caught in a net.” 

Jess shoots him a salacious smirk and winks at Finn. “Is that what they’re calling it these days?” 

“Shut up, Testor.”

“It was a literal net,” Finn adds. “With literal rope, hanging from a literal tree.” 

Karé doesn’t miss a beat. “Didn’t know suspension bondage was your thing, Finn. Not that I’m judging, as long as you play safe and consensual. Anyways, we’re glad you’re okay, and remember to sleep with one eye open!” Before Finn can even think of something to say, the two of them take off towards the dorms. 

Poe looks at Finn intently. “We’re gonna need some more fake spiders.” 


	4. Chapter 4

“Okay, but seriously, how?” Poe’s walking backwards along the uneven path back to the base after a night in the small town nearby. “I was in and out of my room all day, and somehow you two covered everything in foil without me barging in on you.”

Jess exchanges a mischievous smile with Karé and shakes her head. “Maybe we’re just lucky, Dameron.”

“No one’s that lucky,” says Finn. “It took us an hour--”

“Shh! Listen!” Snap hushes, and they all stop, silent.

There’s a roar in the distance, and then a scream, coming from the direction of the base. The five of them look at each other nervously.

Poe turns and bolts down the path. Of course he’s running _towards_ the sound like an idiot. The rest of the group takes off after him, with BB-8 struggling to keep up.

“I think it came from the command center!” Poe shouts over his shoulder. “Follow me!”

When they charge into the room, Jess gasps. The command center is dark and abandoned, several desks and holoprojectors are knocked over, and neon green slime is smeared over the mess of flimsis and smashed electronics on the floor.

“Hello? Is anyone in here?” asks Finn.

“Is it gone?” comes a whisper from the corner of the room. Lieutenant Bastian climbs out from under a desk.

“Are you okay? What’s going on?”

Bastian shakes his head. “I’m okay, but-- kriff.”

General Organa strides into the room, wearing a bathrobe over her pajamas. “Can somebody tell me why my command center looks like it’s been hit by a drystorm and a stampede of reeks?”

“It was a monster,” answers Bastian. “I’ve never seen anything like it.”

She raises an eyebrow. “A monster.”

“It was the chimera, wasn’t it?” comes a voice from near the doorway. Major Yarbon, the head of security, is standing with his arms crossed, surveying the damage. He’s a bald human with a thick grey mustache. “Head of a rancor, tail of a hutt, body of a bantha, claws and legs of an acklay, and covered in slime?”

Bastian snaps his fingers and points in agreement. “Exactly.”

Yarbon nods. “The locals say the chimera has haunted these woods for hundreds of years. I’ve heard legends about it. They say it came to be--”

Karé sighs. “Oh for kriff’s sake.” Walking up to General Organa, she opens her wallet, ignores the fake spider that falls out, and displays a badge. “General, I’m a certified private investigator. With your permission, I’d like to conduct an investigation and try to get to the bottom of all this.”

The general nods. “Permission granted. Detective Kun, this is now your crime scene. Now if you all will excuse me, I’m going back to bed. I have a revolution to run in the morning.”

Major Yarbon follows her to the door. “And I’d better get back to guarding security around here.”

“All right,” begins Karé. “First things first: nobody touch anything. We’re going to need to collect evidence. Second: does anybody _not_ want to be part of the investigation?” She looks around at her friends, who are all shaking their heads, and grins. “Welcome to the team. Okay, Testor, go into our room and bring me my investigation kit. Finn, go with her and help her set up the lab in the conference room. Snap and Poe, use your rank to pull up the security vid for this room and the area outside. Bastian, I’m going to take down a statement from you about what happened, and then you can leave if you want to. Sound good?”

A smattering of “yep!”, “yes, ma’am”, “sure thing”, and “you got it”, and they all get to work. The investigation kit in Jess and Karé’s room is a heavy trunk, and it takes both Finn and Jess to carry it into the conference room. When they open it, Finn can’t help but be impressed. Karé has a fancy camera, a microscope and chemistry set, several inconspicuous microphones and tracers that can be used as bugs, and more. He and Jess carefully arrange her equipment and bring her the camera and evidence bags. Bastian is just leaving, and it doesn’t take them long to wrap the area in caution tape and take holos of the scene.

Once Karé has collected a sample of the green monster slime, she takes it into the makeshift lab to analyze it, leaving the rest of the team in the command center. After a few quiet minutes, Poe looks up from the security holos he and Snap are reviewing.

“Y’know what? I’m not going to sit here while there’s investigating to be done. Snap’s got this. I’m going to go find that thing.”

The corners of Jess’s mouth twitch up. “You mean the monster? In the woods?”

“Yeah.” He stands up to leave. “You coming?”

“Let’s do this.”

Finn disagrees. “Poe, listen to me: that is a _terrible_ idea. You can’t just go running out into the woods after some creature. We don’t even know what it is!”

“Of course we can. That’s the fastest way to figure out if it’s real or not,” Jess points out.

Finn shakes his head. “Okay, fine. But I’m coming with you.”

The three of them set out into the woods, with BB-8 in tow. Poe saw on the security tapes which way the chimera went after leaving the command center, but a short distance into the woods and Finn starts to add his own tracking experience, following the destruction the monster left behind. They walk for about twenty minutes, winding deeper into the forest, until Jess’s comm beeps.

“Snap told me where you went.” Karé’s voice is distorted over the distance. “You guys are idiots, you know that?”

“I get that a lot.” Poe laughs. “How’s the investigation coming along?”

“Well, I analyzed the slime, and it wasn’t secreted by an animal. It’s made of gelatin and corn syrup.”

“So our monster is a person in a costume, then,” Jess infers.

“Precisely. And since Bastian didn’t know why he was the only one in the command center, we looked into who was supposed to be there. Normally there are at least two officers on the overnight shift, but Admiral Ackbar never showed up.”

“Admiral Ackbar?” asks Finn. “You don’t suspect him, do you?”

“Not really, even if you can’t rule out anyone. But we looked into it and found out he’s been in the medbay for the last few hours with some sort of sickness specific to mon calamari and no one took his shift. So he’s not a suspect, just a red herring.”

Jess snickers. “You just called a mon calamari a red herring.”

“Shut up, Jess. So this means that either our suspect got really lucky that Bastian was the only one there, or they knew somehow that the command center was understaffed. Snap and I are making a list of what was broken to try to find a motive. And it’s possible something was stolen in the commotion. We’ll keep you posted when we find anything, all right?”

“Roger that, Detective,” Jess answers and puts away her comm.

“See, I told you this wouldn’t be dangerous,” says Poe, stepping over a fallen branch. “It’s not even a real monster, just a person in-- _oh shit_.”

He stops short as a massive, hulking chimera steps out of the shadows towards them. Looming over them and dripping slime, it rears back on its four hind legs and snatches a branch off a tree with hard, crab-like claws. Staring them down with glowing red eyes, the monster snaps the branch in half, and then leans forward, opens its terrifying jaws, and roars.

Finn swallows hard, frozen in place. BB-8 lets out an alarmed beep.

“Uh-oh is right, buddy,” says Poe.

Finn shakes himself out of feeling frozen, turns around, and grabs Jess and Poe by the hand. “Come on!” he urges, dragging them away from the creature. If he learned anything from being chased by a rathtar, it’s that seconds matter.

Finn and Jess race away from the monster, but Poe tugs his hand loose and turns back towards it.

Finn calls to him but doesn’t stop running. “What are you doing? We have to get out of here!”

“It’s okay! I got this!”

“No you don’t! Try to catch up, would you?”

There’s a chaotic jumble of dodging branches and losing balance on slippery leaves, but soon Finn and Jess are far enough away to stop and catch their breath.

“Wow,” pants Finn. “I didn’t realize… it’d be… that big.”

Jess shakes her head. “Me, neither… Where’s Dameron?”

“Kriff.”

They backtrack, calling for Poe in a stage whisper, until they recognize the broken branch. The chimera’s trail leads deeper into the woods, and there’s no sign of Poe or BB-8 anywhere.

They look at each other. “Did Poe really just get himself captured again?” Finn asks in disbelief and slight annoyance.

Jess shrugs. “What else is new?”

“So… what now?”

“Okay, I wasn’t going to tell you about this, but I have a way to find him,” starts Jess, walking in the direction of the base. “Karé and I put a tracer in his shoe a few days ago to make sure he was away while we set up the foil prank, and we haven’t found a good time to take it out yet.”

“You really aren’t playing around with this prank war.”

“Nope.” She can’t suppress a smile. “If we get my datapad from the base, it’ll lead us right to him.”

“That’s awfully convenient.”

“Right? The real question is why we didn’t think to tag him sooner.”

They make their way back through the forest and into the conference room, where Snap is sorting flimsis into evidence bags and Karé is viewing holos from the crime scene.

“Wait, don’t tell me,” Snap says when he sees the two of them. “Poe got kidnapped, he’s in trouble, and he needs our help.”

“How’d you know?” Finn deadpans.

Karé rolls her eyes. “It’s Taungsday.”

“Well, we came back for my datapad and our blasters. Any news on the inventory?” Jess asks.

“Actually, yes. We’re missing a datastick with contact information for one of the senators who survived the attack on the Hosnian System. She’s one of our most important sponsors, and the First Order has been trying to find her. This datastick is probably worth more than the bounties for all four of us put together.”

“Wait, what? Nobody told me there was a bounty on me,” grumbles Finn.

“Surprise! Yours is the biggest,” Jess says. “So are you two coming to catch the person inside the monster, recover the datastick, and haul Dameron’s sorry ass out of the woods, or do Finn and I have to do all that ourselves?”

 

Forty minutes later, they’re deep in the forest, following the tracer with Jess’s datapad, when they come to a dilapidated wooden shed. It’s missing shingles, the window is broken, and cobwebs surround the top of the doorframe.

Jess looks up from her datapad. “So it looks like Dameron’s inside the spooky shed. Lovely.”

Everyone turns to Finn.

“Why’s everyone looking at me?” he asks. Okay, so he knows why. He huffs. “Fine. I hate you all.”

Keeping one hand on his blaster, Finn strides up to the door, finds it unlocked, and opens it. He flips a light switch, and a single bulb glows on the center of the ceiling.

BB-8 is sitting motionless with a restraining bolt on their dome. Poe is bound with his back to a support beam, his hands behind the beam, and a truly absurd amount of rope coiled around his chest, knees, and ankles. Oh, and he’s covered in neon green slime. He perks up as soon as Finn walks in, and tries to say something, but the gag tied tightly between his teeth scrambles his words.

“Again? What did I tell you?” Finn asks in exasperation. “Y’know, maybe we should just leave you like this, for being a reckless moof-milker.”

Poe’s eyes go wide, and he struggles in protest--and wow, watching Poe strain against the ropes and tongue at the gag is doing things to Finn that he wasn’t expecting. On second thought, maybe leaving him like this for a little longer isn’t such a bad idea. But when Poe slumps against the beam and looks up at him with desperation in those gorgeous brown eyes with those creases at the corners, and lets out a distorted syllable that was probably “please,” well, Finn can hardly say no.

“What do you have to say for yourself?” he asks as he leans down and unties the gag.

Poe licks his lips. “I’m sorry for being a reckless moof-milker.”

Finn nods and crouches behind Poe to untie his wrists. It doesn’t help that the monster slime is making the rope sticky. “And?”

“And? And, uh, thanks for rescuing me again.”

“You’re welcome.”

He’s got Poe’s wrists and chest untied and is just starting on his ankles when they hear a roar outside.  

“Concentrate fire on the joints,” Snap calls. “Let’s immobilize it and bring it down.”

The second they get the knots undone, Poe shoves the rest of the rope off himself, springs up, and pops the restraining bolt off BB-8.

“Come on, BB, we gotta get out there!” he says, and they both dash out the door, Poe having apparently forgotten that he doesn’t have a weapon. Reckless moof-milker, indeed.

 _Immobilize it, huh?_ Finn looks at the rope on the floor and gets an idea. He coils up the two longest pieces and ties a slipknot in one end of each.

Outside, the team has taken out two of the chimera’s legs. It’s up on its back two, swiping and snapping at them with its front claws. Snap is trying to get a shot at its back legs, while Karé ducks and rolls away from its attack. Finn times it just right, loops a slipknot around the monster’s claw when it goes for him, and pulls with all his might. The monster loses its balance, then plants the claw in the dirt and continues swinging with the other.

“Jess! Catch!” Finn tosses the other rope to Jess, who sees what he’s trying to do. She loops the monster’s other claw and yanks the rope tight. For a moment it’s like Finn and Jess are playing tug-of-war, with the monster in the middle, and then the monster collapses forward, its legs splayed out beside it.

Karé is on it in an instant, opening up a panel in the side and dragging out--

“Major Yarbon!” they exclaim.

Karé handcuffs him and pats him down, finding the missing datastick in his coat pocket.

“Mystery solved,” she declares. “Yarbon created the chimera as a way to cover up his theft of the datastick. He knew the command center was understaffed and picked tonight to rampage it. What I want to know is, have you been working for the First Order this whole time, or was it for the money?”

“It was just for the money,” he growled. “And I would have gotten away with it, if it wasn’t for you meddling kids and your little droid!”

“Yeah, sure.” She rolls her eyes. “Okay, team, let’s head back to the command center and alert the general that our suspect’s in custody.” She takes him by the elbow and maneuvers him back the way they came. Snap follows close behind.

“So, how far out are we?” Poe asks Finn and Jess.

“About forty minutes,” she answers.

“ _Ughh_ ,” he groans. “I’m sticky.”  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for your patience with this chapter, dear readers. I've just transitioned jobs irl and had to travel for training, so writing has taken a backseat. I don't expect the delay for the next chapter to be nearly as long. Thanks for your understanding and support!


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was written during the write-in hosted by the Star Wars Writing Alliance. Thanks to members for their encouragement and inspiration! 
> 
> TW for nonconsensual drug use. 
> 
> There are mild dub-con elements here, but I didn't think they warranted a tag or TW. Please let me know if you disagree and would like to see one.

_Cell block Aurek on the Star Destroyer_ Heritage _. 1600 hours._

 Finn races down the hallway, trying to find the interrogation chamber. Poe’s not in the cell the _Heritage_ ’s system assigned, and that can only mean one thing. Taking a chance on the closest room, Finn presses his ear to the door and tries to listen over his own pounding heartbeat.

The low, ominous thrum from inside means an interrogator droid is at work. There’s a crackle of electricity, a pained yell, and a string of Yavinese expletives in a voice that’s unmistakably Poe’s. Finn’s heart sinks. It’s all he can do not to rush the cell, but if there’s another human in there, overseeing the interrogation, then he won’t be able to take out both the human and the droid before they realize what’s going on. Until he knows there’s no one else in the room, he has to assume that attempting a rescue will get Poe killed. Finn reaches for his comm and pushes a button to silently request backup.

[GIVE UP NOW] demands the droid. [YOUR RESISTANCE IS FUTILE]  

Poe groans. “I’m all for puns and a well-timed stock phrase, but that was just _bad_. Are you programmed to--hey! _Oh kriff_ , that--” He makes the sort of hiss that comes from breathing in through gritted teeth.

[I AM ASKING THE QUESTIONS.]

“See, that’s what I’m talking about.”

[ANSWER THE QUESTION.WHERE IS THE RESISTANCE BASE?]

“Go fuck yourself, ball.”

Poe grunts and gasps for breath as the droid zaps him again.

Finn is torn between admiration for the warrior who’s brave enough to insult an interrogation droid and annoyance with this cocky idiot who’s dumb enough to insult an interrogation droid-- seriously, who kriffing _does_ that?

[YOUR BRAVADO IS USELESS HERE. ONLY SURRENDER WILL END THE PAIN.]

“Ain’t bravado if I have the guts to back it up,” Poe fires back.

[I SAID. WHERE IS THE BASE?]

“And I said, go--” his words break off into an agonized scream that chills Finn down to his toes. _Come on,_ he thinks. _Someone, please, get down here._

Really, they should have sent someone else with him. But he’d asked for this. He’d sought out General Organa a few hours before the attack and asked what their plan was to rescue Poe.

“Finn, I understand that you coming to his rescue has become something of an inside joke around the base, but I hope you know that you’re not responsible for him.”

“I do, sir. It’s not that I feel obligated, it’s that--” he had paused. That he and Rey were the first real friends he had, maybe. That he’s accidentally developed a huge crush over the past few weeks. That seeing Poe in trouble and restraints and rescuing him gives him a thrill he doesn’t understand but can’t stop thinking about? Eventually he goes with the simple, true answer: “It’s that he matters to me.”

“In that case,” she had said, smiling and handing him a piece of flimsi with a map and a password. “Cell block Aurek. We’ll have a med shuttle in the hangar.”

Poe curses again and groans.

[YOU CANNOT HOLD OUT FOREVER--]

“Watch me.”

[--AND NO ONE IS GOING TO RESCUE YOU. TELL ME WHERE YOUR BASE IS, SCUM.]

“See, that’s where you’re wrong, ball. My friends _always_ rescue me.”

Another sizzle of electricity. Another gut-wrenching yell.

“My friends always rescue me,” Poe repeats once he catches his breath enough to speak. “And there’s nothing you can do to me that’ll make me betray them.”

[IF PAIN WILL NOT PERSUADE YOU. PERHAPS TRUTH SERUM WILL LOOSEN YOUR TONGUE.]

“Whoa, no, no.” Poe sounds genuinely scared. “Don’t you dare stick me with that. Please, no--”

[BEGGING IS FUTILE. I AM NOT PROGRAMMED FOR MERCY. AND NO ONE ELSE CAN HEAR--]

That’s all the cue Finn needs. He slams the button that opens the door, takes aim, and shoots the interrogator droid with half a dozen blaster bolts before it can even react. The droid’s burned shell falls and smashes into the floor, smoking and fizzling uselessly. Finn kicks it with a vengeance, sending debris spinning into the wall, and turns to Poe.

“ _Finn._ ” Poe leans back against the torture chair in relief. “You’re here. You came for me.”

Poe’s in bad shape: he has a dark, swollen bruise under one eye, and a nasty nosebleed has left blood all down his lips and chin. His shirt is torn open down the front, and the sleeves are rolled up past his elbows, exposing bruises on his ribs and wrists and dozens of electrical burns scattered across his torso and forearms.

“You look awful,” Finn blurts out without thinking.

Poe snorts. “Good to see you, too.”

“Any broken bones, internal bleeding, that sort of thing?”

“Nah, nothing serious.”

“Okay, good.” Finn releases the restraints on the chair, and Poe staggers forward and collapses onto him, throwing his arms around him and pulling him into a hug. It’s not what Finn was expecting, but he holds him up and returns the embrace.

“ _Finn_ ,” Poe says into Finn’s shoulder. “You came for me, and I knew you would, and I survived and didn’t betray us.” His voice is louder than normal.

Something feels off. This isn’t like Poe. Then again, he has been through a lot, hasn’t he?

“I know, buddy. You were tough. Let’s get you home.”

“I knew you would come. You always do. You’re one of the bravest people I know. You-- you smell good.”

“I… what?” Finn pulls back enough to look Poe in the face. His eyes are bloodshot and sleep-deprived, but it’s the unfocused stare and pinprick pupils that give it away. “Shit. That thing drugged you.”

Poe shakes his head. “Prob’ly just a placebo. I feel fine.” He smiles, a big, goofy grin. “I feel safe with you here.”

Finn stares in disbelief. That wasn’t a placebo.

“Well, we’re not safe yet. Let’s go.” He takes a deep breath and switches off the backup call on his comm. _Dammit, Poe, this week was supposed to be a_ normal _rescue._

“Sure, buddy,” Poe says in a loud, singsong voice. “Lead the way. I’d follow you anywhere, y’know that?”

“That’s nice, Poe, but right now I need you to be quiet, okay?”

“I can be quiet!” he says, not actually any quieter. “Anything for you, Finn. You’re the best at rescues…” He rambles on, and Finn shushes him.

"Poe, shut up. I'm trying to get you out of here. Plus there's apparently a bounty on me, and I'm really not in the mood to find out why."

Poe nods and goes silent for approximately six seconds. 

They’re halfway down the hall when Finn thinks he hears a security droid around the corner. He quickly ducks with Poe into an alcove that’s barely big enough for the two of them.

“Finally,” Poe says, planting his hands on the wall behind Finn and leaning in to smush their faces together. Poe’s mouth is on his before Finn has any idea what he’s doing, and no, this is nothing like how it is in his daydreams.

“What was that?!” Finn pushes him to the other side of the alcove.

Poe puts his hand up to his mouth. “Oh! Sorry, I forgot, I threw up a couple times. I prob’ly taste gross. But Finn, this is how the story goes-- the handsome, courageous hero, the love interest in distress, the impossible rescue, they share a kiss of true love and it’s happily ever after. You keep pulling me out of danger, and maybe it’s cheesy, but somehow I finally feel brave enough to show you how I feel.”

It _is_ cheesy, but Finn’s heart is going to beat right out of his chest if it keeps going. “But don’t you think it matters,” he says cautiously, “whether we _want_ to be part of that story?”

“Don’t you?” Poe offers a wickedly mischievous smile. “I’ve seen the way you look at me during these rescues, once you know I’m safe.”

Finn’s face flushes with warmth. He can’t argue with that. “Poe. You’re high out of your mind right now, and you’ve just been through a really rough couple of days. How do I know if this is really what _you_ want?”

“It is!”

“Then you’ll still want it when you’re sober, yeah?”

“You gonna kiss me then?”

Finn hesitates. _I’d love to kiss you then. But I’m afraid to get my hopes up._ He checks the hallway for threats before turning back to Poe. “We’ll talk about it then.”

Poe beams in victory. “Close enough. We’re gonna make this happen, Finn, we’re finally gonna do this. Force, you’re so attractive, do you even know what your smile does to me?”

He prattles on as they make their way out of the cell block and head towards the hangar, Finn reminding him to be quiet as often as he can get a word in edgewise.

“Poe!” Finn yells in what is technically still a whisper. “For the hundredth time: SHUT. UP.”

Poe nods and looks as earnest as one can while high on truth serum. “No problem, buddy, I can shut up. Wouldn’t want them to hear us or anyth--”

Finn glares in disbelief. “I swear, I will gag you if I have to, and I am _this kriffing close_.”

Poe smirks. “You threatening me, or offering?” The way he’s raising his eyebrows, it’s practically a dare. “I think we’d _both_ like--”

“Oh for kriff’s sake!”

In one deft move, Finn holsters his blaster, throws an arm around Poe that pins Poe’s arm to his side and his back against Finn’s chest, and presses his other hand to Poe’s mouth.

 _“Mmph!”_ Poe makes a half-assed attempt to push Finn’s hand away with his own free arm, and while they’re about the same size, Poe is too drugged and injured and Finn too strong for it to make any difference.

Finn’s doing his best to be gentle as he maneuvers Poe down the hallway, and it doesn’t take long for Poe to stop struggling and let Finn lead him. And that’s the moment when Finn realizes he’s in too deep. The feeling of warm skin instead of a shirt under the hand on Poe’s side, the way Poe is bruised and bloodied and yielding to his touch, the courage and loyalty and trust he can’t help but admire--it’s all too much. He sure doesn’t want to get his hopes up, but yeah, they’re definitely going to need to talk about that kiss.  

Finn leads Poe through the hangar and into the med shuttle and carefully deposits him on the bed.

“Mm, that was hot. You can manhandle me anytime,” Poe says sleepily as a med droid scans him. Finn opens a hydration pak and helps Poe sit up. “Here, drink this. I’m sure you’re thirsty.”

“After that? You bet I’m thirsty.” Poe winks and chugs it while Finn selects bandages and bacta from the array the droid offers him.

“Can you take your shirt off for me?”

Poe gives him a look. “Are you thirsty, too?” He pulls his arms out of the sleeves, throws the shirt on the floor, and lies down. Finn rolls his eyes and sits on the side of the bed. The droid gives him a cloth with antiseptic, and he wipes the blood off Poe’s face and knuckles. Poe closes his eyes and makes peaceful sighing noises as Finn dabs the electrical burns with cooling bacta. Finn hears the engine start, and soon the shuttle takes off. He’s just finishing up wrapping a bandage around Poe’s torso when Karé and Jess barge in.

“Well, the demo team made it in and out okay. The _Heritage_ will be history in a few minutes,” Karé announces proudly.

“Pava! Karé! You guys are the best.” Poe gives them a drowsy, grateful smile. “I don’t tell you this enough, but you mean so much to me. No matter how much we prank each other and say sarcastic stuff, I really care about you, deep down in my heart. You’re like my family.”

Jess narrows her eyes suspiciously. “The fuck’s the matter with Dameron?” she asks Finn.

“He’s fine; he’s been like this. He just got a dose of truth serum right before I got him out.”

A smile creeps across Karé’s face. “Truth serum, huh? Hey Poe, is it true you cheat at sabacc?”

“Yeah.” He nods. “Not when we’re playing for credits, ‘cuz that’d be stealing, but yeah, all the time,” he adds without a hint of embarrassment or guilt. “Oh! Credits! You owe me forty credits. You too, Pava. I made it to level four.”

“Damn, I guess you did, if this is what it stuck you with,” says Jess.

“Level four?” Finn asks.

“On the torture droid, they have levels, y’know?”

“Wasn’t my area. The rumor was that most people took one look at it and spilled everything.”

“That’s level zero,” nods Karé. “General Organa made it through level seven on the imperial model without going through the first six levels, but otherwise the Resistance record is level three. Poe bet he could beat it.”

“They only let me finish level one on the _Finalizer_ before Kylo came in, so I had to pay up last time. But now they owe me.”

“No, Testor and Snap owe you. I didn’t take the bet ‘cuz I assumed if you lost it you’d be too dead to give me my money,” Karé retorts.

Finn shakes his head. “I can’t believe you guys placed bets on that.”

Jess shrugs. “Why not? It’s a risk we all train for. And any motivation helps.”

A calm, mechanical voice comes from the med droid: [Pardon the interruption, but it is in the patient’s best interest to sleep.]

“Yeah, we’d better let you sleep it off,” Jess agrees. “Wouldn’t want you to say _too_ much you’ll regret in the morning, would we?”

It might be a little late for that, Finn thinks. He hopes not.

“You okay? Need anything else?” he asks after Jess and Karé leave and turn off the light.

Poe pulls a blanket over himself. “Don’t go.” He takes Finn's arm and pulls him back down toward the bed. “Please?”

So Finn lies down on top of the blanket, Poe curls up so that his head is on Finn’s chest, and Poe falls asleep with Finn’s fingers in his hair.


	6. Chapter 6

Finn opens the door to his bunk and jumps back from a blaster pointed at his face.

“This is a kidnapping. You’re coming with us.”

“Jess! Put that away! What are you doing?” Finn protests.

“Kidnapping you! Obviously!” Jess grins. “Poe’s not around to get captured this week, so we nominated you instead. We’re going out for drinks, and I’m taking you with us.”

Finn is still eying the blaster. “That is _not_ proper firearm safety.”

“Oh, come on, do you really think I’d aim it at you if it could go off? It’s not loaded, the safety’s on, and my finger’s not even on the trigger.”

“That really shouldn’t matter!”

“Okay. Sorry, Finn.” She slides the blaster into her holster. “But seriously, will you come with us? You’ve been moping in here all week, and we’re starting to worry.”

Finn sighs. He has been moping. After the fiasco last week, Poe had slept the whole way back to the base, been taken into medbay, and then left on a personal leave to Yavin IV without the chance to even speak to Finn. It makes sense that personal leave means no contact with the base, but Finn’s been both anxious for Poe to get back and dreading the conversation they’ll have to have about what happened on the _Heritage_.

“Poe said some things to me while he was drugged,” he blurts out.

“Like what?”

Finn grabs the only jacket he owns off the back of a chair--not that that’s going to help get his mind off of Poe, but the nights on this planet have been getting cooler lately. “Get me drunk and I’ll tell you the whole story.”

Several hours later, Finn, Jess, Karé, and Snap are on their way back from the pub, walking through the dark and quiet streets of the small town near the the newest Resistance base. Even after telling the whole story, Finn is still rambling about his feelings for Poe, only vaguely aware of just how much he might regret sharing all this with Jess and Karé tomorrow morning.

“It was like something out of a bad holovid,” he grumbles. “Confessing his feelings under a truth serum? That he just _happened_ to get stuck with right before I came in?” Karé pulls him off his trajectory before he can walk into a lamppost. Shit, maybe he’s even drunker than he thought. “How does that even happen?”

“It could have been worse,” Snap offers. “It could have been the alien sex pollen trope.”

“Snap!” Karé whacks his arm.

“The alien _what_?” Finn shakes his head. “Never mind. I don’t wanna know. What I do wanna know is what to do now so we both don’t die of embarrassment whenever he gets back. Jess, pay attention!”

Jess is looking at the street with her head cocked to the side, blinking in confusion. “Is it a drunk thing for every speeder van to look alike? I feel like that one’s passed us at least twice.”

The van pulls up beside them and stops.

Karé gasps. “Bounty hunters. Run!”

The four of them take off down the street, trying to fight through the blur from the alcohol. Finn can’t get his body to do quite what he wants it to. He hears the van door open and a blaster fire in stun mode, and--

The headache is the first thing to make its way back to his consciousness. The next thing is voices, familiar voices, but he can’t make out what they’re saying. He’s on his side, and there’s something warm on his head. He thinks he can open his eyes, but he can’t see anything, so maybe not. He tries to sit up, but a jolt of nausea hits him as soon as he tries to move. What...?

“I think Finn’s awake,” Karé says above him. “Finn?”

He groans, remembering getting drunk and trying to run from bounty hunters. “Where are we?” he manages.

“Good question,” Jess answers. “Besides ‘in a dark, locked shipping container,’ we don’t have an answer. We don’t even know if we’re on a ship or on land.”

“Here, have some water. You were really drunk last night; I’m sure you need it.” Karé has his head on her thigh, he realizes as she takes her hand off his head and helps him sit up. He can just barely make out her outline in their dark prison. The water is the best thing he’s ever tasted, and he tries not to gulp it down too fast.

“Thanks. So how do we get out of here?”

There’s a long, awkward silence.

Snap sighs. “Well, we tried, and this container doesn’t unlock from the inside. So we’re stuck.”

“What do you mean we’re stuck? We can’t be stuck!” Finn tries to push down the panic rising inside of him. “We’re the Resistance. Getting un-stuck is what we _do_.”

Jess finds his hand in the darkness and squeezes. “Finn…”

“Someone’s coming for us, though, right?” he says, even though he knows the answer.

“They’ll have to figure out we’re missing first. Then figure out who took us, when we don’t even know that. Then figure out where we are and how to get us out. It doesn’t look good,” Jess admits.

“So we’re just gonna be handed over to the First Order.” Finn didn’t mean his voice to sound so quiet. Or so hopeless.

“It might take a few days,” Karé points out. “The bounty hunters will try to get the First Order to pay more for us, because hey, they already have us, and the First Order will try to pay the bounty hunters less than they offered, because what else are they gonna do with us? But yeah.”

Finn shakes his head. “I can’t go back there.”

Jess squeezes his hand again. “You’re gonna be okay, Finn. No matter what they do, they can’t turn you back. You’re not a stormtrooper. You’re Finn. And you always will be.”

He squeezes her hand back. “Thanks, Jess.”

“You’re welcome.” After a moment she adds, “I bet you guys twenty credits I can make it to level three on the interrogator droid.”

“I am _not_ falling for this again,” Snap protests.

“Level three? That’s not even a fair bet. Of course you can!” Karé says, and Finn can’t help but smile.

The rest of the day, all they can really do is wait. They pass the time telling stories: a creation myth from Karé’s home planet, legends from the Clone Wars, that time Snap and Jess accidentally offended a duchess on a diplomatic mission and had to hire a traveling petting zoo to smuggle them out of the city. Finn wants to savor every moment huddled there in the dark with them and store it up for when the First Order tries to make him forget what it means to be a free person, to have friends that laugh with him and call him by name. It’s amazing how much he’s changed in just a few weeks, how much he’s become a part of their circle. Jess is right: they’re never going to be able to change him back.

Late that night, they finish the last of the food their captors left in the container and lie down in a tangled nest of warm arms and legs and tummies. There’s no keeping track of time in the darkness, but it seems like time to sleep.

“Maybe we can escape after the First Order takes us,” Finn wonders aloud. “Maybe they’ll brag to the Resistance that they have us, and someone will come. Or maybe we can get more Stormtroopers to defect.”

Karé yawns. “That’s exactly what’s gonna happen. And then we’re gonna go home, hug everybody, put Poe’s entire model X-wing collection in the rest of Yarbon’s green gelatin, and kick the First Order’s asses.”

Jess chuckles. “I like the way you think.”

Hours later, Finn wakes up to a loud screech of rusty metal and way too much light in his face. The top of the container is open, hinging on one side, and a dark silhouette appears in the opening.

“I found them! They’re in here!” calls a familiar voice, and the silhouette vanishes. Finn’s heart skips a beat, and he shakes himself the rest of the way awake. It sounded like… no, it can’t be. Finn hovers on the edge of hope and relief. He must be dreaming, because there’s no way Poe Dameron is here.

Karé and Jess sit up, Karé grumbling under her breath about the light and Jess running her fingers through her messy hair. Someone is humming outside the container, and Finn recognizes the theme song of one of the spy holos Poe introduced him to a couple weeks ago.

Karé nudges Snap. “Wake up. I think we’re getting out of here.” He yawns and stretches.

“This is the coolest! Is this what you guys feel like all the time?” comes Poe’s voice, just before he appears at the opening to the shipping container and tosses a rope ladder over the side.

Karé pops up and starts to climb the ladder. “Thanks, pal,” she says with a grin. “Guess you aren’t entirely useless after all. How’d you find us?”

Poe climbs down and gives Karé space to descend the ladder on the other side. “Someone saw you guys get captured, and then the intel crew just tracked down the bounty hunters’ ship. Easy-cheesy. I was passing through the area on my way back, and Luke and Rey were closer than the rest of the Resistance, so they sent us instead. And here we are.”

Finn gestures for Snap and Jess to go ahead of him. Jess gestures to Snap, who starts to climb the ladder.

“Oh, no,” Jess whispers to Finn. “I see you trying to put off talking to Poe.” She folds her arms over her chest and jerks her head towards the ladder. “You’re next. Get out there and tell him how you feel.”

“I hate you. Remind me never to tell you anything ever again,” Finn mutters but climbs the ladder grudgingly. It looks like they’re in some sort of cargo hold or warehouse, he can’t tell which.

“Hi, Finn,” Poe says when Finn makes it to the top of the container wall, and Finn realizes Poe’s feeling just as nervous and awkward as he is.

“Hi.” He starts to climb down the ladder on the other side. “So I guess it’s you rescuing us for a change.” He looks down at Poe, whose eyes snap up to his from where they were definitely checking out Finn’s ass.

“Guess so.” Poe mutters and looks away, embarrassed, as Finn makes it to the floor.

“Careful there!” Rey’s voice echoes from across the cargo hold as she runs towards the ladder. Jess is held up in midair by the Force, having slipped on her way down, and Rey sets her gently on the ground.

“Whoa. Uh, thanks. That was really cool.” Jess is pretty clearly flustered.

“You’re welcome.” Rey gives her a sweet smile.

“I always wanted to meet a Jedi,” Jess blurts out.

“I always wanted to meet an X-wing pilot.” Rey extends her hand. “Hi, I’m Rey.”

Jess shakes her hand. “Jessika Pava. You can call me Jess. Nice to meet you.”

Poe takes Finn’s hand and pulls him aside. He takes a deep breath. “Listen, buddy, I owe you an apology. I’m really sorry for last week, for coming on to you like that after you made it clear you weren’t interested. That wasn’t okay, and--”

 _No no no, this is all wrong_. “It’s not that I wasn’t interested!”

Poe scrunches up his face in confusion. “What?”

“Well, you were drugged, and I didn’t know if you really meant what you were saying, and I didn’t want to take advantage of you, but I. Uh. Well.”

“I mean, it was a truth serum, not a hallucinogen.” Bashful, Poe rubs the back of his head. “I normally wouldn’t be as blunt, but I admit, I did mean it. About being in love with you. I promise I won’t be weird about it again.”

“Weird? I’m in love with you, too!”

Poe is taken aback. “Really? Wait, so you’re saying that you _do_ want us to be together, you just wanted to be sure you had my consent?”

Jess interrupts: “Force, Poe! Yes, you’re both crazy in love, and you’re both consenting now, so just kiss already!”

“Shut up, Pava.” He looks back at Finn, who nods.

“She’s right. Shall we?”

Poe lights up and leans in to kiss Finn passionately. Finn pulls him close as their lips meet and a shiver of joy runs through him. The other pilots holler and clap.

“You’re much better at kissing with a little warning first,” Poe says into Finn’s ear, too softly for anyone else to hear, as they hold each other close.

“You’re much better when you don’t taste like blood and vomit,” Finn points out, making Poe laugh.

“Did you see the way Jess looked at Rey?”  

“You bet I did. Ready for some payback?” Finn asks mischievously.

“After weeks of what we’ve put up with? Is that a question?”

“You’re right. She definitely has it coming.”

“And, uh, while I’m sharing my feelings with you, you should know, that I… kinda like to be tied up? Maybe especially by you?”

“Poe, I would _love_ to tie you up.”

Poe lowers his voice even further. “Enough to wanna try it as soon as we get back to the base?”

“Kriff, yes. Well, Karé is planning to put your X-wing models in the rest of the gelatin, so we should probably either stop her first or go to my room.”

“Hey Poe,” Snap interrupts. “Sorry to distract you from whispering with your new boyfriend, but don’t you have a rescue to finish?”

“Oh yeah!” Poe pulls back and takes Finn’s hand. “My shuttle’s this way. I’m sure we’re all ready to get back to the base.” He and Finn exchange a look. “I know I am.”


End file.
